Sunday, December 10, 2017

The sausage, the seal and me

Or 'How I performed an appendectomy with no medical training.'

So Operation Sausage has been and come and gone. The afternoon before i was due to go in I received a phone call telling me they had a bed for me and if I wanted to be sure of keeping it I should go in that evening. Quick panic on my part: I still had too much to do. But I got there and was safely installed.

The following morning a variety of people came around getting me to sign my life away. A student asked if I minded if she and another student had a good poke around before the operation: carry on, I said - as long as I'm unconscious. The registrar (who was to do my operation I think, and who had overdone the after shave that morning) frightened me to death with the list of possible complications but as it didn't categorically say that death was a possibility I signed anyway. Then the nice anaesthetist I'd seen in my pre-op popped in for a chat too. 

By the time Paul, a surgeon friend from Linden church, stuck his head around the curtain I was a little anxious. He reassured me that was normal and that it would be abnormal not to be. Then he said, 'I'm the expert at keyhole surgery; would you like me to do your operation?'
'Oh yes please!' (I had my suspicions - probably unfounded - that the registrar would be a whip-it-all-out-and-ask-questions-later man.)

I remember panicking when the anaesthetist told me to think of something nice to dream about - and I couldn't - and the next thing was I was waking up and it was all over.

Now the interesting bit. 

Both Paul and his wife, Jo, also a gynaecologist, came to see me later and explained what had happened. Bear in mind I was still a little dopey at this point (yes, even dopier than usual) so some of the details may not be exactly correct ... but this is what seems to have happened.

A mucous seal developed some distance up my appendix. It grew around the appendix and eventually cut off the blood supply leading to my body effectively amputating its own organ. (This would have been what caused my severe stomach pains this time last year.) Then I get a bit more confused but I think the bit of appendix went walkabout and ended up in the area of my lady parts leading to the theory that I had a problem with a fallopian tube. 

No wonder everyone was puzzled when the looked at the scans.

Paul said, 'I've never seen this happen before.' 

I am hoping he will write a paper for a medical journal and Hinds Sausage Syndrome will become a recognised thing. I may never be a famous author but my name will live forever in the annals of medical weirdos. 



7 comments:

Trubits of Life. said...

How unusual Liz, but I'm so glad it was nothing more complicated,
I hope you are resting and reading plenty of books and watching
dvd's.
Take care,
love Di. xxx

Trubits of Life. said...

123 just testing....Yours and a couole of others will let me comment on your blog I don't know
how to fix it any clues would be most helpful xxx

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Only you could have thought this up . Now you can relax and keep out of the cold till after Christmas . Get better soon !

Ole Phat Stu said...

Glad everything went well for you, Liz :-)

stuartl said...

Glad all went well

nick said...

A mucous seal? Sounds like some endangered species that needs nurturing. All very esoteric to the medically less informed like myself. Glad it's all sorted out now.

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

Glad your sorted :-) I am just a bit confused why a surgeon friend knows what happened .. Ah ok , I got confused with the post .. He did the op.. I thought this would of been sorted before . but at least you are sorted. Confusion over.